The Worst Star Wars Movie
With Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens releasing this year, it's reawakened a deep Star Wars love inside me. It’s funny how the Star
Wars prequel movies are given so much flack for being so bad, yet are still
loved despite some of their terrible qualities amongst Star Wars fans. I definitely belong to this camp. But I want you to hear my heart. Although the prequel movies suck in more ways
than one, they still hold a special place in my heart because they still belong
to Star Wars.
That being said, it’s a
subject of debate amongst Star Wars fans which movie is the worst of them
all. It’s accepted that Star Wars
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is the best of the prequel films. But of the two that remain…which is better?
My opinion?
Attack of the Clones >
The Phantom Menace.
I
know that this is not generally agreed upon, but I have a strong opinion on
this. I’ll admit that I have a slight bias,
being that AOTC is what spurred me into my love of Star Wars as a child. But I think I can make a good case for
it. We’re going to do this simply and
logically.
EPISODE I ANALYSIS:
What was good?
The lightsaber duel. Hands
down the best part of this film, and the second best lightsaber duel in the
entire saga (Anakin vs. Obi-Wan being number one). The fast pace, intensity, emotion, and
visuals during this fight make this movie worth watching, even if it takes a
while to get to this point.
The podrace. Probably
the only memorable action sequence outside of the lightsaber duel. While it doesn’t advance the story greatly,
it’s a welcome break from this movie’s lame dialogue and terrible acting.
Darth Maul. While there is virtually no character development, everyone knows that Darth Maul is an awesome villain. Perhaps if more time were given to unpack his character, this movie would bump up above AOTC.
Qui-Gon Jinn. Liam Neeson is awesome, and he's kind of the only thing that keeps me going in some of the otherwise terrible scenes.
What was bad?
The story. This
film does absolutely nothing to the overall plot of Star Wars. After reading why Episode I is cut from the
machete order, it made complete sense to me.
While it’s theoretically “cool” to see Anakin as a kid and explore his
origins, the entire plot of this movie is summed up in the opening scroll of
Episode II.
The acting. This
isn’t limited to this movie (the whole prequel trilogy has bad acting), but
it’s definitely the worst in this one.
The script is bad to begin with, but is then poorly delivered by almost
all the actors. Monotone
voices and stupid lines makes the viewer cringe in awkwardness.
The tone of the film. This film
half-heartedly attempts to be “kid-friendly” but doesn’t really succeed. The way Anakin is portrayed with his friends,
the lame bits of advice his mom gives and Jar-Jar are all ways that the movie
tries to appeal to younger audiences, but never truly committed to it, giving
us something that didn’t satisfy kids or adults.
Jar-Jar Binks. I
hated this character so much that as a child when I would play with LEGOs, I
pretended he had learned the ways of the Force, just so I could have an epic
lightsaber fight that ended with Obi-Wan killing him.
EPISODE II ANALYSIS:
What was good?
The action. The
speeder chase. Obi-Wan vs. Jango. The asteroid chase. Hundreds of Jedi battling at Geonosis. Clone Troopers fighting alongside Jedi
Knights. Count Dooku vs. Yoda. This movie had it all!
The story. In
this film, we see events unfold that shape the galaxy into the one we know and
love in the Original Trilogy. A mystery
is being solved by Obi-Wan about a secret clone army, the Jedi sense the Dark
Side growing, Anakin is becoming increasingly unstable, and Palpatine is rising
to power. And the Clone Wars begin.
The tone of the film. This
movie feels the most like the Original Trilogy of all the prequel films. Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padme feel similar to our
trio of heroes in the Original Trilogy.
They aren’t together for a large part of the movie, but the relationship
they have with each other and the fun banter back and forth reminds us of the
fun times we had with Luke, Han and Leia.
What was bad?
The acting. No ifs,
ands, or buts about it. In Episode II,
we have more monotone voices and terrible lines that no one should quote. Perhaps this acting is a half-step above that
of Episode I, but that isn’t saying much.
The scene where Padme admits her love to Anakin is a powerful one in
terms of story, but kind of uninteresting and rather pathetic in the final
product we see in the film.
The dull scenes. Episode
II has a lot of scenes I like to skip if I’m ever watching it by myself. For long periods of time nothing seems to
happen (especially with Anakin and Padme), and the CGI worlds become a bit much
to look at after a while.
CONCLUSION
Star Wars Episode II:
Attack of the Clones simply has more going for it. The pros outweigh the cons, and also outweigh
the pros of Episode I. And The Phantom
Menace has more cons than pros.
Seriously whenever I watch it, it’s hard not to just skip to the end
lightsaber fight. The only thing that
really helps me continue watching is Liam Neeson.
Attack of the Clones on
the other hand has a compelling story that introduces us to the Clone Army,
explores the tension in Anakin and Obi-Wans father / son relationship, unpacks
some of Anakin’s anger and eventual transition to the Dark Side, and delivers
some great action scenes.
So if you still don’t
agree with me after reading this list, don’t tell me why. Instead, I want you to take my favorite
Jedi’s advice:
“You need
to go home and re-think your life.”
–Obi-Wan
Kenobi (Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones)
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