The Hard Fun of Being Challenged

So I gotta say, God’s been doing a number on me.  Since starting my internship at Searchlight Church, He’s been growing me in so many ways!  It’s been great, it’s been challenging, and it’s been hard.

The great part: I’ve been getting to know God so much more.  I’ve been sensing His presence more in my life, and I’ve been coming to a place where I trust Him so much more.  I’ve always heard this and known it, to trust in God.  But lately, God has really been building that trust in me.

My internship at Searchlight has been bringing me to me knees and asking God to move through me and in Searchlight.  It’s seriously been incredible.  I don’t really know how else to describe it.  God has been making it clearer and clearer that He is moving at Searchlight, and His heart is for the youth of Long Branch, NJ.  I’m so stoked just to be a part of it!

The challenging part: I’ve been fasting a ton lately.  In my last blog post, I stated that I’ve “unofficially” wanted to make it a more regular part of my life.  I’m glad to say that it has been.

It started out with fasting one meal one day a week.  I knew that it was a way for me to talk to God more, and that I’d actually be praying about things!  About a week or two after I started this, I signed up for the “Jummah Prayer”; Christians around the world fast on Fridays and pray during the same time Muslims pray their Jummah Prayer.  So now I’ve been fasting two days a week, two meals each day!

Also, during April I did a Daniel Fast for 5 days.  I’ve never done one of these before, but I felt prompted by God to fast for 5 days, and decided to do that one.  I gotta say, by the last day, it was really tough, and it took a lot of self-discipline (and prayer!) to stay focused and not give in.  But God really pulled through.  He worked on my heart, confirmed things in my life, and used me in various ways.

The hard part: God’s been dealing with my sin.  Part of what I fast and pray about is for God to continue to mold me into who I need to be, and to get rid of my sin.  But that isn’t easy!  I pray that God gives me strength to deal with it, but I also have to make daily choices about how I respond and how I choose to think about things.

I’ve been realizing more and more that God is helping me, but I’m the one who allows sin to get in the way.  I’m the one who sins.  And I’m the one who has to put the effort in to change that, with God’s strength.  I can’t just wish it away!

So that’s the update on my life since starting my internship!  I’ve been loving it and God has been doing great things!  I’m excited to see what else God is going to be doing.